Survive a Cocktail Party

It may seem like a simple haven for conversation and Chardonnay, but don’t be fooled. A cocktail party is nothing but a classy circus. There are rings of fire to jump through and vicious lions to avoid. Here’s how to avoid playing the clown:

1. If you’re the only person of color in the room, be prepared to field the kinds of questions that you may not wish to answer. If you do choose to answer, however, stare at the person for a period of time. Don’t speak. Don’t smile. Stare long enough for him to feel uncomfortable. Eye contact is essential. If he starts talking in your silence, you know that you have succeeded in making him aware of the inappropriateness of his inquiry. Finally, respond. This tactic of alienation is also known as the Brechtian effect.

2. You can often avoid saying stupid things by getting a feel for a person’s politics or point of view on poignant issues before opening your own mouth. Beware. Make sure that you …