Volume 4 – The “Love” Volume
This week, Sex Week storms Yale’s campus with events from this Friday February 8th to February 18th. Events range from a debate featuring Ron Jeremy and sex toy giveaways to speed dating and discussions about the myths of sex. And of course Valentine’s Day falls in the middle of the festivities. Be sure to check out some of the events! Sex Week webpage

Lighting of fireplace
Ice clinking into glass
Cognac pouring
Cascada’s “Every Time We Touch” playing

Now that the dude has set the mood, allow me to welcome all of you to a very special…wait, they’re all very special…a very sexy…wait, they’re all very sexy…a mildly uncomfortable…dammit, this is hard…whatever, it’s another edition of the Week-ness, the mixtape designed to get your eardrums through another week. Once again, I’m your host, The Poohbah of Playlists, The Teacher for Your Speakers, The FIX, Pretty Flaco, PF if you need speed. But this week, I’m not just about the sonic loving; I’m about the Loving loving too. So, for the uninformed, I’m also Mr. It Don’t Hurt to Flirt, the Maharaja of Ménage a Trois-ja, 175 pounds of Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal, Pretty Flaco, PF if you’re NASTY!

A reminder for those of you who are terrible, terrible boyfriends, we’re coming up on Valentine’s Day next week. There may not be a more polarizing holiday in the western world than Valentine’s Day. To some, there really is no better opportunity to let someone special know how you feel. Nothing is better than the moment of recognition when you’ve figured out the perfect gift (note to lazy guys: Creativity > Money, all day every day). To others, it’s the day where you remember to give someone else your belts and shoelaces. Nothing is worse than those couples that insist on sucking each others’ faces in public; I’m pretty sure that’s how the bubonic plague got started.

Personally, I’m not a results oriented person when it comes to Valentine’s Day. That’s partially because I’ve had occasion to fall head over heels for the kind of women whose ideas of courtship make black widow spiders shudder. Still, it’s also because deep down, beneath the tough exterior that prefers “Phenomenon,” I’m really a “Luv U Better” kind of guy, and Valentine’s Day is when I get an excuse to let my touchy-feely flag fly.

Of course, this often has some less than adorable results. Once I took a girl out to a nice restaurant for dinner, only to get there and find the heat turned up DRASTICALLY high (it was a cold day). Now, I’m a bit of a sweater (read: in crowded parties I have to answer the question “dude, have you been smoking crack?” at least twice). The result was my date asking if I wanted to leave in the middle of dinner because, in her words, “you look like you have a fever, and I don’t want to get sick.” Just remember ladies, hot temperature equals warm heart.

Another time, I threw a happy Valentine’s Day message in a campus paper that I edited. Unfortunately, this particular paper happened to be the campus tabloid. Guys, just so you know, if you’re thinking of sending out an “I Heart You” message in a paper that talks about how some drunk frat guy [Editor’s Note: For the sake of our stomachs, let’s go with “awful, awful, awful things” here] to some underclassman girl, you’re better off waving a banner over an inner city strip club buffet; it’s more likely to get seen there.

Finally, there was one time when I, realizing that this particular girl loved a particular flower that was out of season, printed out several different images of these flowers, taped them to green pipe cleaners, and stuck them in a bowl filled with green Styrofoam that said “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Actually, this gift worked perfectly, but it taught me another lesson: NEVER SHOW YOUR GUY FRIENDS YOUR INCREDIBLY DORKY VALENTINE’S DAY GIFT. I went to my buddy for his opinion on the gift, and his response upon seeing my creation was, “Oh yeah, that’s awesome, but tell me, what’s holding the flowers in the cup, your dignity?” Yeah, that was a high point for my rep.

But you know what? If there’s any lesson to walk away with on Valentine’s Day, it’s that no matter how lame, dumb, dorky, sappy, or whatever word that those people who don’t believe in the power of love want to use your idea for a gift is, just do it. The love you give is the stuff you’ll remember forever; the dignity you lose…well, ok, you’ll remember that forever too, but really, if you don’t have at least one Valentine’s Day that makes you cringe, you haven’t lived.

And so, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ve got not one, but TWO love themed playlists. The main course is Pretty Flaco’s NON-R&B Love Song Mixtape. Don’t worry, there’s a bonus section for the lazy people.

Enjoy.

Monday:
Jose Gonzalez – “Love Will Tear Us Apart”(cover)

Before the indie kid reading this in the dark and thinking of getting a really poorly thought out emo tattoo (the name of your ex spelled in teardrops is NOT a good look, kid) gets angry at me, I should point out that the original version of this song, performed by Joy Division, is one of those songs that you need to listen to before you can really understand the progression of the indie movement. Go download it before someone stamps “poser” on your forehead. Now that I’ve satisfied the music nerds in the audience, let me say THIS: The original was a triumph of sonic experimentation, but Jose Gonzalez’s cover gets to the aching heart of the matter. Eschewing the dancing, bubbly synths and driving percussion of Joy Division’s original, Gonzalez replaces the whole instrumental affair with acoustic guitars and lets the natural power of Joy Division’s lyrics come through. The result is the kind of yearning love song that is at the core of the original (although once again, GO LISTEN TO THE ORIGINAL…in fact, I’m throwing it on here…you’re welcome).

Tuesday:
Peter Bjorn and John – “Let’s Call It Off” (Girl Talk rmx)

There are two artists that I go all kinds of crazed teenage girl fan shrieking for. The first is the Clipse, who make me feel like there’s no joy left in the world, and that’s the most musically wonderful news ever. The second is Girl Talk, the mash up DJ who takes that genre from a niche mixtape concept and turns it into an art form all its own. Seriously, Girl Talk is doing for sampling what Steve Nash has done for the assist, finding new ways to execute from angles that nobody ever imagined (on a side note, he’ll be at Toad’s on the 25th of April, so get on that). Here, the goofiest looking musician in Pittsburgh teams up with indie-pop/rock group Peter Bjorn and John to remix “Let’s Call It Off,” from their debut album, Writer’s Block. Transforming a sparse backdrop draped in reverberating guitars into a lush synthesizer playground, the remix twinkles its way through the art of the ever-so-rare mutual breakup. Breaking up may be hard to do, but here it becomes an inevitable consequence of mismatched pairs, one that merits a sense of satisfaction at the effort instead of sadness at the failure. Absolutely fraudulent from an emotional perspective? Probably, but YOU try not dancing to it.

Wednesday:
LL Cool J – “Loungin’ (Who Do Ya Luv)”

In a catalogue that has some of the hip hop love songs ever written, this was the song that set LL apart as the undisputed G.O.A.T of rap romance. Equal parts sexual desire and emotional commitment, the track turns the art of seduction into a block party, bubbling with light keyboards and an R&B hook that stands the test of time. All the while, LL drops verses detailing a pursuit of an object of his desire and affection that everyone who has ever fallen for someone at first sight from across the dance floor will understand. It’s worth noting that at the time, this kind of a song was an absurd idea for a single. Labels “knew” that the record buying public wanted violence. LL, along with the savvy marketers at Def Jam, knew that there’s one topic that the public has never gotten tired of, whether it’s written by William Wordsworth or Todd Smith: Love.

Thursday:
Lupe Fiasco – “You”

Lupe can wow me with social messages on “Superstar” or storytell circles around his competition with tracks like “Kick, Push,” but this is the best song he’s ever done. Turning an everyday meeting with the woman of his dreams into a story that everyone can understand, Lupe meshes his lyrical dexterity and wit with a flow and track that allows the listener to connect and experience the song instead of simply observing in awe. It’s the difference between thinking a movie is really well executed and wanting to see it again and again just to recapture the way it makes you feel. If the industry wasn’t too busy trying to squeeze Lupe into the “Nerd Rap” box that they think is his only commercially viable image, we’d have all heard this on the radio a long time ago.

Friday:
Pharrell – “Angel”

If you don’t get what Pharrell’s wailing about in his standard falsetto here, then you’re still waiting to really fall in love. Off of his solo offering, In My Mind, Pharrell digs deep into the giddy, crazy idealism that goes hand in hand with puppy love. The track, a light, piano-keyboard driven affair with just a hint of electronic buzzing, bounces around in step with the childish idea at the core of the song: What’s more fun than that moment of seeing someone only for the things you immediately love in them. It may be fleeting, but love would be a much more boring place if we didn’t have at least a little time to avoid the messiness and just play, with no murky, frustrating strings attached.

Saturday:
Iron & Wine – “Fever Dream”

The single sexiest folk song ever, and I tend to think that this guy is overrated (“Oooooh, he’s singing in hushed tones and has a big beard! He’s like a really sexy Santa Claus.”). Love or hate his particular vocal style, Sam Beam pairs it perfectly with a sparse, barely there guitar backdrop. Adding a desire that most artists would trample with a bigger, more invasive soundscape, the result is a stripped down track that could succeed on tone alone. Admit it, you like your music like you like your sleeping partners: Naked.

Sunday:
Bonnie Raitt – “I Can’t Make You Love Me”

From her album, Luck Of The Draw, Bonnie Raitt hits the most frustrating part of love and turns it into one of the most beautiful sad love songs of the last twenty years. Over a track that is just simple enough to not get in the way of the lyrics, Raitt pours out the kind of heartache that goes along with knowing that love is failing, detailing the calm of acceptance before the storm, and pleading softly for the illusion to last a little longer. It’s terribly sad, but in a way it makes the love that she wants desperately to work more worthwhile. At no point do you ever doubt that Raitt would do it all over again if she could, and that keeps the song from descending into “tear in your beer” territory. Instead, Raitt seems to be glorifying love even as she laments it. It’s the sonic equivalent of a long, slow kiss goodbye; it has to end, but you just keep hoping it will last just a minute longer.

BONUS MATERIAL FOR THE ROMANTICALLY LAZY:

Tamia – “So Into You”
Wow, a happy love song that is actually about love and not sex. I just lost five dollars on this one.

Craig David – “Seven Days (DJ Premier rmx)”
Before we let him escape to the pop world, Craig David recognized that Premo knew how to do hip hop sexy in a way that all the porno synthesizers in the world WISH they could do.

Faith Evans – “I Love You”
Let the fifteen year old boys have Cassie; Faith was the sex symbol that Puff let get away.

Fantasy – “Mariah”
“When I close my eyes, you come in and take me (on and on and on).” Damn.

Christina Milian – “Twisted”
Buried on her thoroughly mediocre debut, Christina Milian somehow crafted this Cool & Dre helmed sexpot. Hey, you know what they say about blind squirrels…

Mario - “Let Me Love You”
The song that turned Ne-Yo into a star songwriter, Scott Storch into a pop star producer, and Mario into a one hit wonder.

Nelly Furtado – “Do It”
MTV was selling ringtones made by Timbaland, and the beat to this one was the track they used to advertise the event. Anyone who knew music knew that this was a waste of a great track. Thankfully, Nelly Furtado didn’t let the matter slide.

Ok, I’m gonna need a cigarette before we do another one of these. So, until next week, Happy Valentine’s Day. Oh, and wrap it up, because nobody knows where you’ve been.

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 8th, 2008 at 4:59 am and is filed under Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.